there once was a boy named marcus, he never lived on a farm. He was never really responsible or maybe he never really had things to be responsible for (well there was that one time when he lived on a bus with a few other people...) and sometimes people called him a home bum. now this lad seems to be becoming a farm boy. He wakes up on a farm (owned by some mennonite farmers- who sponsor students for a democratic society) at 6 most days, eats breakfast on the farm with a pretty young farm girl (Shaenah Joannah) and her big-lipped-doo-doo-farm-boy brother(howard 3), who is startn his own farm family and is expectin a little farmer named howie or farm girl named kaya from his farmer wife (amber), goes out and feeds the farm dogs (beer, canella, and osa), drinks his farm coffee made by the cheif farmer (howard jr.), then gets in the ol wagon (a volvo with no muffler) and gets himself a ride to another farm (oak grove farms) where he washes and picks farm vegetables (gmo). Then when he's done throwin pumpkins around for minimum wage he goes and gets some farm fresh pear cider and farm fresh coconut macaroons, gets in the wagon and makes the 45 minute stretch back to the farm where he sits on hay with a few ex-amish folk (people who were either kicked out of the amish church or voluntarily left because they felt that they would best serve god outside of the amish church) and the rest of the farm folk (sonshine, lisa, rich, kenton, thias, judah, yasha, jirah, and baracha, anne and jesse) looks over some railroad tracks and the lord's hymns he sings and the banjo rings out over the river in southern pennsylvania.
being out here has made me feel like im gaining more of a grasp on what divine appointments and divine timing is. Having hitched out here all the way from seattle got pretty ruff at times but i knew it was the right thing to be doin. Bailey, Okie Doke and myself went out to a small town in washington to try to catch the high line to chicago and ended up spending 2 days waitin and then hitchin out of there after finding it difficult to catch a train when baileys bag was fallin apart and me havin too much crap and a dog and a banjo and food and water and trains being mostly unridable and a few meth heads chasing us around and demanding donuts of us and yelling "if you have fishin poles i'll know your my friend, but if you dont ill kick your ass". Me and bailey went on hitch hikin as senor okie doke went back to seattle to meet up with gary and catch the train a week later. We made some good timin and then the 2 of us spent three days stuck in the same 100 miles of monatana. Then she caught a ride from a sweet ol lady into chicago while i was sleeping and i ended up all by myself. during a whole day all by myself with no rides except for one by a fisherman for about 20 miles from one small town to and equally sized nonesense town, i was feelin pretty down at points but a few very beautiful people ended up calling me from different states and encouraging me right when i needed it most. then i got a ride to the ohare airport from some people who needed my encouragement and i was happy to try and give it. as soon as i got there i started takin the train to get to the other side of chicago to get to the interstate and hitch out but the train was under construction and what should have taken about 45 minutes took about 2 hours and i ended up frustrated downtown with no money and the sun had gone down. Then this girl walks by and ends up askin if she can pet my dog, tells me how goin where i was goin was a bad idea but that i could stay at her place. so i ended up hanging out with an amazing girl on a rooftop in chicago lookin over the city and checkin craigslist where we saw an add for a free ride to camden nj. So the next day i end up meetin robin, rugrat and riff raff ( i hope thats right). Three rad girls headin to pennsylvania. Rugrat and riff raff ended up going to a squat in pittsburg that they didnt know where it was but i had been there before and was able to drive them straight there, and robin was needin someone else to drive because she didnt want to have to stop and she wanted to get back quick. Plus we got to have a really honest disscussion about religion, and domestication and the sort. But heres the crazy part- as we where following the directions to shaenahs house we start drivin down the last road and robin says "i remember this place, i stayed at a farm at the end of this road last summer through students for a democratic society". guess what farm that was? And since ive been here ive become very grateful for this place and the people here.
Before i got here i was kind of feeling desperate for answers as to what i was to do in the future. Now, though no concrete plans have been created, and all the same concerns are present i feel like things are beginnin to come together.
ive been assured and affirmed in a lot of things and although i dont always agree with the people around here i feel like ive had some necessary incounters and conversations. ive thought for a while about making some steps i didnt think i'd make in a long time- if ever, towards a new phase in life, and its been hard because i dont always assure myself of my capabilities or rather of what God can do through me (like being in any sort of healthy relationship), and often ive considered things to be compromising to my values - for example i'm trying to get a car (prefferably a pick up truck) to help me as i start to learn some trades and to live out of if necessary in the future and to hopefully at some point take shaenah out to meet my folks. but while at christian summer camp my new friend jimmy spoke some words of wisdom into my life by telling me that i need to learn to be satisfied with eatin breakfast before i worry about lunch. I'm trying to learn this and i feel like i have started to- and that i dont feel as desperate in trying to make plans, which is a huge blessing. Im learning that the lord can plan for me and that i need only to listen and be obedient, not to worry.
Praise the lord for his mercy and grace, and patience with my small little mind.
